Read jokes about John McCain, Barack Obama and the battle of the Senators.

 

 

 

Senator John McCain pointed out to Senator Barack Obama that terrorism was a global problem, noting that 3 Brazilian soldiers had been killed by terrorists in the previous week. "That's terrible," a startled Barack Obama stammered in reply. "How many is a Brazilian?"

 

 


John McCain's military record has Barack Obama's supporters in Hollywood worried, so they've decided to make a movie about Obama's military experience. The working title is "Full Dinner Jacket."

 

 


John McCain is far more knowledgeable and experienced than Barack Obama when it comes to Islamic nations. McCain fought there during the crusades.

 

 


As a former POW, John McCain spent time in prison before entering politics. By contrast, Barack Obama will hold public office first.

 

 


Mike Huckabee's bumpersticker: Honk If You Love Jesus
Barack Obama's bumpersticker: Honk If You Think I Am Jesus
John McCain's bumpersticker: Honk If You Want Amnesty for Jesús

 

 


Q. Hillary Clinton wears boxers. Bill Clinton wears briefs. Barack Obama wears thongs. What does John McCain wear?

A. Depends.

 

 


Barack Obama's release of what he claims to be his 1961 birth certificate is being questioned since it appears to have been made with a laser printer. There's no question about the authenticity of John McCain's birth certificate. It's carved in stone.

 

 


Barack Obama has repeatedly refused John McCain's debate challenges. Obama told McCain that he wants a speed-reading contest instead. "We'll both be given a teleprompter and whoever reads his talking points faster will be the winner," explained Obama. "No contest. You would win it," conceded McCain. "I can't talk out of both sides of my mouth like you can."

 

 


Barack Obama claimed to have campaigned in 57 states. John McCain corrected him, "That's 44 too many states."

 

 


John McCain and Barack Obama are both ready for the Presidential race. Obama passed his latest drug test and McCain passed his yearly autopsy.